I know ” ’tis more blessed to give than receive”, but to be honest, sometimes it is really awesome to receive a gift picked especially for you because the giver, having truly understood your heart’s desires, knows you would love it . They know too you would never splurge so decadently on yourself, so they do it for you. Once or twice in nearly three decades of Christmas mornings I have received this kind of gift from my husband, but more often comes the kind of Christmas exchanges like yesterday.
I peeled the wrapping from a gift to reveal a shirt in the same rose colored corduroy fabric as a shirt he gave me last year. It is a nice color and a soft, brushed comfortable cloth, so I thought, it won’t be so bad having two blouses of the same fabric. As I unfolded it to get a better look at the style, I realized the fabric was not the only similarity. He bought me the same blouse this Christmas as he bought me last Christmas.
I sighed and hung my new rose shirt in the closet next to its twin. Closing the door, I reminded myself that Christmas is just one day of the year. The other 364 days are filled with gifts of great meaning…
He is a loving and faithful husband to me.
He is a wonderful father to our children.
He has guided many children through his years of Sunday School teaching and Scout leading.
He is a hard worker who provides us a comfortable lifestyle which frees me up to do work with children that holds meaning, but pays little.
He treats people with respect.
He is smart, decent and kind.
He is indeed the worst Christmas gift giver ever, but now that I think about it, how could I hold that against him when the gifts he gives throughout the rest of the year are so very good?
My Bigger Picture Moment this week.
Well it’s not so much that you’d hold it against him as that a woman can’t help but long for a well thought out, “ahhhh, he really listened or noticed” kind of gift. I know that sentiment.
Bingo! Love him to death, but ahhhhhh!
Aww, husbands. It’s wonderful that you have the clarity to step back and look at the big picture. Other wives would fume at the “insensitivity” of the gift. Something like this situation would probably ***** me a little at the moment, but then I would have to ask myself, “Well, how perfect am I? How can I expect him to be so perfect when I obviously have my own glaring faults?” I suppose he saw the shirt in the store and it reminded him of something you’d like to wear (because you already have it) and thought it would be perfect for you. I don’t believe men are really into details. My husband always asks me if I’m wearing something new or if our dinner is from a new recipe, when the the things in question have been around for years. I think more men are like this than not, and they just have more important things swimming around in their brains-like the enormous pressure of making sure to provide for their family. Merry Christmas, May.
Oh, believe me that clarity was quite cloudy for many a Christmas! You said pretty much what my daughter did when she saw the shirt, Wow! Dad must really love you in that!
Oh my goodness, this is precious. As a fellow long-married, I get it. I’m glad you have him and he has you.
Me too, Lina, me too! Hope your Christmas was merry!
That is too funny. Did you tell him? You are so very kind. He must really like that color — or think you’d look good in it. Gifts are funny. Sometimes I hit a home run but more often, I just grab something at the last minute. You are right. Hopefully, what we do day-in-and-day-out is the real gift.
No need to tell him. He has figured out this is not his forte!
I’m glad he has a lot of other gifts that would make anyone proud!
He definitely does!
Glad you can see the big picture!
Now I see the big picture. This is not to say that there weren’t some melt downs along the way!
May, that is so funny in some ways … he must really love that shirt! But through the giggling, your story resonates on a deeper level. I remember one birthday when all I asked for was the dishes to be cleaned. I was sleep deprived, a young mother to a needy babe … and when I woke up, I found not just dirty dishes but also a moldy blender. For reals. I think I probably felt much of the way you did with the replica shirt. And then the truths emerge about how really the gifts all the other days far outnumber the ones that have gone awry.
Yes, yes! I have had the moldy blender holidays! Later when I asked why–especially when I, like you, specifically asked for what I needed–he did not come through with that one small gesture he said it didn’t seem like a real gift and he wanted to get me a real gift. Maybe all the Hallmark commercials have sabotaged gift giving for us simple girls!
That is so typical of a man (not that I’m stereotyping or anything). That said, what a nice perspective you had on it: realizing how much he gives you day in and day out in the intangible sense. Well said, May.
I can not say I had this perspective the first few Christmases though!
Too funny…probably because it’s familiar! True, though, that these gentlemen who are not so hot at gift selection and even worse at subtle hinting have so many many more gifts to give. Maybe the real gift is the fun story to add to your collection of tales…
The annual fun story! lol
I think he got it from his mom. At least it wasn’t a purple inside-out sweatshirt : ).
At least this trait was not inherited by everyone in the family!
I have to smile because – I buy my own present each year (and it usually works out better that way) not because my husband doesn’t care – but because he is working so hard – when he does have time off I don’t want him running out to worry about picking out something for me (which I’d probably have to return anyway). We are blessed to have husbands who love us and put us first. That really is romantic.
He is a blessing for sure.