As much as I hate to admit it, it is time to get things ready for Daughter #2 to return to college. Things are being packed, shopping trips carried out. Each of her meticulous check lists are reviewed item by item.
The past couple of days we have been working on her down comforter urging the down to return from the farthest reaches of the blanket.
When I bought this particular comforter I thought that it had squares sewn throughout the body to help the down stay put. What I didn’t realize is that apart from the outside seams, all of the squares had 3 to 4 inch breaks in the stitching on every side presumably to allow the down to flow through. The result–down along all four outer edges of the comforter and a very flat center.
It was a huge pain guiding batches of down through the gaps in the squares. We spread the comforter over the large coffee table in the family room and three of us spent hours pushing feathers and sewing up gaps.
As I worked I thought about how much parenting resembles the job we were doing. From the time a child is mobile their job is to move away from us, to move towards independence. They stray from the rules and boundaries we offer them. Teens especially move towards the fringe of family and tradition in their effort to find what fits for them. As parents we are constantly urging a return to the center. We round them up and gently nudge them back.
Eventually, they become adults. Then, if we are truly fortunate, we no longer have to nudge so much but simply wait for them to return on their own.
I am having the opposite reaction with my 16 year old daughter. She’s very happy being right in the middle of our family, preferrably with us circling her like pioneer wagons to protect her from the “big, bad outside world.” A part of me is happy she isn’t running around wild like some teens do, but I feel like I need a cattle prod to push her towards independence. She starts driving lessons next week, so I guess I’ll see if that sparks her confidence.
Is she your oldest? Our oldest took longer to “warm up” to the idea of socializing outside the family. She is now a college grad. Though she was a slow starter she is a social butterfly now. Although she really does appreciate just being home hanging out with us pretty regularly too.
What a unique and apt analogy of your children’s growth and expansion. Coming back to the center is a comforting concept (I’m not being punny!)…it is home and it is vital to our happiness.
Thanks, May – thoroughly enjoyable. Plus – thanks for a lesson in comforter purchases!
lol I thought I was so smart buying one with square baffles to control the down. Not sure why the gaps were left. Makes no sense to me.
That is a process I have long been too lazy to embark upon! I hope your daughter’s year at college is a good one!
Total pain in the neck!